Eight Years Apart

By Natalie

I was 18 and it was in January of 1994 when I got pregnant with my first child. I found out February 4 when the line turned blue that I was going to have a baby. I felt SO many emotions! My boyfriend (who was also 18) and I were together for about a year and a half by that time, and I thought that he would understand.

When I took my first pee test at home, I couldn't believe my eyes. There was the faintest blue line you had ever seen. I was only four days late with my period, and they weren't something that you could set a clock by, so I ran to a local place that offered free pregnancy tests. I also brought along the test I took that morning to get a second opinion on the line. I sat there and waited as the lady ran the new test. There it was, another faint line (it was purple this time). It was confirmed. I was going to have a child.

The first person that I told was my father. I went to his job (since he couldn't get too upset there) and told him the news. He wasn't too happy. The next person I told was my mother. All she could talk about was getting an abortion. I wasn't thinking about that at all, and I didn't like her telling me what I should do. Needless to say, we didn't talk the whole nine months that I was pregnant, and I think I was better off in some ways.

The VERY last person to find out that I was pregnant was my boyfriend. He went into hiding that weekend and wouldn't answer any of my calls. What a nice guy, huh? Since he wasn't very supportive, my family tried to help by suggesting that the baby be put up for adoption. I considered it. There was a local family that was picked out and everything. Since I got kicked out of my house, I moved in with a friend of the family that wanted to adopt my baby. That didn't last too long. Because I knew whom the father was I had to get him to sign papers. He was against all this.

By this time, he started to talk to me again. I informed the lady who was going to adopt the baby that I was having second thoughts and that my boyfriend didn't want to sign the papers. Her words to me were, Well, it doesn't matter if we don't get YOUR baby, because we're going to get a baby regardless. Needless to say, that made up MY mind right then and there. I moved in with my boyfriend's best friend's family. I didn't stay there too long. Maybe a month or two, if that. I moved a total of five times while I was pregnant.

Never once did my boyfriend's parents offer to step in and help. They called me names like slut and whore to my face when I confronted them about the pregnancy. They questioned me about it being their son's child. My social life wasn't that busy. He was the ONLY one that I was sleeping with. I was so upset that these people were going to be the grandparents to my child!

I moved in with my dad's ex-girlfriend and her daughter. They were so upset that my family wasn't being supportive. Toni and Nicole took care of me up until I was able to move into a townhouse with some roommates. They shared their two-bedroom, one-bath apartment with me. They also threw me a baby shower and were in the hospital room as my labor coaches. Nicole was the one who went to Lamaze class with me, NOT my boyfriend.

The last three months of my pregnancy were rough. I was sick most of the time with what the doctors told me was the flu. I was due October 8, but on October 4 I was admitted into the hospital with a HIGH fever of 105.1! I was in SO much pain that I couldn't even walk. My stomach was in a ball that didn't go away so who knew that I was having contractions? My roommate, Jennifer, carried me to the car and rushed me to the hospital. I was wearing her husband's lion slippers, shorts, a t-shirt, sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

They admitted me at about 4:30 p.m. on the 4th. The first six hours of my labor were OK and not too painful. I had people coming to see me. Finally, my boyfriend made it. He stayed for a while, but then as it got later he went home to sleep. On October 5, at 5:59 a.m., my son came into the world with three little pushes. Alexander Giovanni! He was SO tiny and weighed only 4 pounds, 9 ounces and was 18 inches long. Even though he was full term, he wasn't big because I was so sick the last three months. Still he was perfect and his father walked into the room the moment that they held him up after he was born.

He was sick as well and was rushed to the NICU. I didn't get to hold my baby until about two days after he was born because I was still so sick. I found out that I had pneumonia! My son was treated for spinal meningitis. He spent 21 LONG days in the NICU before I could take him home. I spent five days in the hospital trying to get better myself.

Alex's father was in and out of his life for a while, and I pretty much raised him on my own with VERY little help from him. He and I did get married; however, that didn't last. Since Alex was used to having it be just me and him, he wasn't too upset that his dad wasn't around again. He's a great little man who is a very sensitive and understanding child.

Right now I have been dating a man who I adore! It's nothing like what I had to deal with in the past. Thank goodness! He and I have been together for two and a half years now, and we're expecting a child in September (the 18th, so they say!). This baby is going to be a girl, who we're going to name Sofia Nicole. My boyfriend now is a great roll model for my son, and I know that he will be a great father to our daughter. My son is SO happy that he will finally have the little sister that he's always wanted. I feel SO blessed because I had doctors tell me that I wasn't able to get pregnant and that if I ever did, I wouldn't be able to carry the baby due to a bad cervix.

Right now I'm in going into my 27th week with very little complications along the way. I'm 27 years old now, and I believe that I can enjoy this pregnancy with my son and Alfonso (my boyfriend). He's been a great comfort to me since the day that we found out, too. He has been there for me and has gone to every doctor's appointment, too. My son's father went to only one, and it wasn't even the ultrasound!

I have to say that if this one was too long to read, I'm sorry. There's SO much more to tell, but I don't want to bore anyone with the trials of my life. I just want anyone who reads this to know that I would NEVER change anything that's happened up until now. Everything happens for a reason, and I believe that when I was married to Alex's father that I didn't have another child with him because that was God's will. He didn't want me to have another tie to that person. But God has blessed me with my son, my soon-to-be daughter and my one-day husband, Alfonso. I know that even though the road to getting where I'm at was hard, it was more than worth it! If anyone would like to email me they can do so at daddysgirl@emailvat.com

This story was written on: June 14, 2002