Changing for the Better

By Jessica

I partied with the high school crowd until 5 a.m., I drank, I used, I had sex, I threw up. So that sums me up: a 14-year-old bulimic, alcoholic, partying slut. My nights were spent using my fake ID to get into the hottest nightclubs.

The scary part was, it worked. I was like that for three years. Until I met Daniel. He was literally the only upperclassman in my school I hadn't slept with. After two weeks of trying we started dating. He was amazing; he saved me. I started coming home earlier and then eventually I didn't leave anymore. I did homework instead. My grades went up and I made honor roll my junior year. The entire time I was still dating Daniel and we hadn't even had sex yet.

After two years of dating we had sex. It was different; it was love. We got engaged six months after graduation and we got married three years later, the night after our university graduation.

I found out I was pregnant six months after marriage. Dan was thrilled and I was neutral. I didn't like the thought of something wrinkled and pink making me sick, giving me stretch marks and making my sex life nonexistent after it was out. I really didn't think I wanted to be a mom.

I told Dan and he said I would come to love it. I realized after a couple weeks that this baby was coming out no matter what so I might as well get used to it. Dan picked out our baby's name and he set up the nursery; I worked out and tried to prevent stretch marks. In the end, I became fat despite my prayers and to my great surprise, I looked amazing. I glowed.

My angel finally presented herself after 43 hours of hard labor, at 2 in the morning, I might add. It was the hardest thing I ever did but looking at her on my chest made me not hate her, and looking at Dan hold out his arms to hold her I fell in love.

Aurelie Kalila. Aurelie means angel and Kalila means beloved. Daniel and I took our beloved angel home and although the first few nights were rough we came through and now Aurelie is a happy healthy 8-year-old.

Daniel and I have two more children. Mirari Caresse, meaning beloved miracle, is 5 and in kindergarten, and Camille Estelle, meaning perfect star, is 2. We thought we were done after Camille but just 11 months after she came out we were in the delivery room once again. This time we got a boy and we named him Chayan Lucifer. He is 13 months old and every time I look at him my heart smiles. It's hard to believe I didn't want to be a mom at one point!