My husband and I have had ICSI treatment, IVF in 2007. I was very lucky two fall pregnant the first time on our treatment in February 2008 with twins. We were over the moon, let alone one but two babies, a wonderful joy.

All was well until 20 weeks. I was so big and was in and out of the hospital most of the time with high blood pressure. I was due October 29, 2008, with a boy and a girl. We were so pleased, but September 9 I had a scan. We were told Twin B, thought to be the girl, had hydrocephalus (liquid on the brain) and spina bifida. Tears filled our eyes, along with our families, who have supported us all the way.

We had to go to Kings College and we saw Professor N. Twin B's heart stopped on September 15, 2008. I carried our baby stillborn 42 weeks along with our other twin.

On September 24 my watershttp://www.pregnancytoday.com/glossary/19-Bags+of+Water/ broke at home and I was rushed in to the hospital for a Cesarean section. We then found out that we had a healthy little girl but it was our son we had lost, not the little girl. That was a shock for us to learn that.

We have taken further advice as to why his condition was not picked up a lot sooner in earlier stages. A year later our son, Ryan, is at rest. Now we call him our brave miracle, and Bethany, his twin sister, is doing very well. She's 11 months old now.

But deep down in our hearts there will always be a hole missing. We miss Ryan so much. We cry most days and we feel very alone. It's a happy and sad time for us all. But we had lots of cuddles after he was born with us and family and lots of photos taken. We also had his two hospital name bands along with his hand and footprints and other bits as well.

He will always be in our hearts forever, and one day Bethany will know about her twin brother.

Please, if anyone's been through almost the same with twins, please get in touch using my e-mail address.

God bless Ryan, our brave miracle. We love you loads.