Before I went into labor I had a huge craving for a hamburger, so I e-mailed my partner Heya at work. The whole e-mail just had the word "hamburger" repeated over and over again. He came home with the ingredients to make homemade hamburgers for dinner. They were the best hamburgers I had ever had. He even added fresh coriander in the patty mix, which has been my herb of choice in this pregnancy. I have gone from being impartial to coriander to loving it in the past 9 months, putting it in everything, including fruit salad. We even considering naming our baby Coriander.

I started to go into the prelabor stages that night while we were watching an Adam Sandler movie, Don't Mess with the Zohan. The contractions were pretty mild, and about 10 to 20 minutes apart. I also had a show of blood.

After the movie we put a few extra things in our hospital bag, then tried to get to sleep. I was so excited, it was like being a kid the night before Christmas. I did manage to get some sleep but every time I woke up to a contraction I would get excited and found it hard to get back to sleep.

They were pretty steady through the night and started to pick up in intensity in the early hours of the morning. We got up nice and early in the morning and had a big breakfast. Something I took away from laboring with my Phoenix was to eat in the early stages of labor while you can. I rang up Mum to tell her not to go to work, and she came over to look after Phoenix.

The contractions started to slow down and weren't as intense, so when Mum got to our house Heya and I went for a nice long bush walk. We were having a good time, coming up with random names for our new bub from Mob Of Kangaroo to anything and everything else we passed on our walk. The idea of going on a walk was to get things happening again, but instead it seemed the contractions plateaued out.

When I got home I called the midwife to let her know what was happening, and then went to bed to try and get some sleep, because I was pretty tired.

When I slept the contractions got stronger and more regular. I was really willing them to be strong and found I couldn't sleep through them so I got up and used a hot wheat pack on my back and belly. For a while they were nice and strong. I could still talk through them, but it was nice they were progressing. Because Barley was lying in oblique position (head down but on the side) I knew she would turn either posterior or anterior during labor. I really wanted her to turn anterior, so I tried to spend time on my hands and knees and walk around as much as possible, but I just wanted to lie down on the lounge and relax.

Heya was wonderful through all this. He rubbed my back, and kept on feeding me snacks like Jatz and cheese and getting me to drink water.

I had a nice hot bath and my contractions started to slow down and become irregular again, something to learn for next time: Baths slow down labor. I kept trying to will my contractions to get stronger and more intense. I talked to the midwife on the phone, to keep her updated. She said that I might have false labor and said she would call in on the way home and give me an internal examination to see how dilated I was.

She came soon after the phone call. It was about 5 in the afternoon. She gave me an internal examination and told me I was only 2 centimeters dilated, and that the baby's head was still up high, and my cervix was still quite hard. I felt like crying. I thought I would be at least 4 centimeters and my cervix would at least be nice and soft, and since I was going to the toilet every minute I thought the baby's head must be low.

The midwife suggested that I either I take a panadol and have another hot bath, which can make labor stop, and have a big rest, or I go for another walk and try and get things going again. So I thought about it, over some more Jatz and cheese and water (I swear I ate so many of those things).

Then around 6 when it cooled down Heya and I went for a walk. This time the contractions really started to get stronger. I had to stop walking and breathe through them. They were coming three minutes apart. I remember toward the end of the walk Heya, the smart arse, was saying, "Ready, set and now," just before I had a contraction because they had become so regular.

When we got home the contractions had a bit of a bite to them. Heya called the midwife and let her know that we were going to have the baby tonight. She told him to give it another hour to make sure it progressed. Labor really came on in that hour. The contractions were getting really strong. I had to breathe and howl through them, and really concentrate.

This is where I used everything I had learnt from my prenatal yoga classes to get me through. The long vowel sounding breathing, the different positions. I found standing up circling my hips screaming ahhhhh was kind of helpful. I also found saying the word "relax" over and over again a little helpful. When it got really bad I would jump into the shower.

Heya helped remind me to breathe, and it was great to imitate his exaggerated breathing in and out through them. I was pretty emotional in a good way, when I thought about what was happening, that I was in labor and was going to have a baby. I would feel teary and grateful. It kept me in check that the whole pain aspect of it that I was experiencing was worth it, and a labor of love.

It was Mum and Dad's anniversary, so Dad had come over. They were upstairs entertaining Phoenix. I stayed in the bedroom. Mum occasionally popped in and gave Heya a break. Phoenix popped into our bedroom a few times but looked a little worried when he saw his mum howling through her contractions, so kept away.

I really wanted to go to the birth center. The contractions were getting so strong and I wanted to get a little settled into our room. They say to come into the birth center when the contractions go for a good minute and are five minutes apart. Mine were still 30 seconds to 45 seconds long but the time in between them was getting shorter and shorter.

I remember my mum coming in and saying that she thought we should go to the hospital very soon. I felt the same but at the time I just said we were trying to wait for the contractions to last a minute. She looked very concerned and worried and said she thought I should go sooner. I snapped at her to leave the room.

I actually wanted to go to the birth center too and agreed with her, but I needed to trust my midwife and not worry about getting there in time. So I held out to around 8 o'clock. I told Heya to call the midwife and say that I really wanted to meet her there soon. He called her up and organized to meet her there at 9:30 p.m.

I didn't want to have to wait another hour; I really wanted to leave now, and get settled. The contractions were strong, still only 30 seconds long, but absolutely mind blowing. I stopped willing them to be stronger and started wishing that they would be five minutes apart so I could recover a little before the next one.

Heya had some dinner and packed the car, and I managed to put on a dress. By this stage the contractions were on top of each other. I remember when it was finally time to leave at the end of one contraction going upstairs and saying goodbye to Phoenix as fast as I could before the next contraction.

We got out to the car. We weren't sure what the best way to sit would be. We left and the trip was so uncomfortable; the contractions were really strong and I remember looking at the clock in the car and noticing they were under two minutes apart. I felt delirious with the body's natural endorphins, and probably the oxytocin hormone that is released in the body. It reminded me of just before you drop off to sleep, and between contractions I remember feeling like I was in a dream state, which was good because that car trip was horrible. I was stuck in this seat and extremely uncomfortable. It was the only time that I felt like I was losing it, and couldn't really bare the contractions anymore.

Mum followed us in her car to the hospital, to help park the car. I later found out she followed us because she could tell how close I was to having the baby and was afraid that we might have to deliver the baby on the side of the road on the way to the hospital.

We got to the hospital about 9:15 p.m. I hobbled out of the car. I was so glad to get out of that car seat. I had a few contractions on the short walk to the birth center. The midwife was already there, thank goodness, because I don't think I could have handled waiting until 9:30 to get settled in our room.

When we walked into the birth center, it was extremely tranquil, but busy. They were having a busy night. March 18 ended up being a good night for delivering babies. I remember walking in and being extremely loud in having my contractions. I really wanted to hop into a bath. It was the light at the end of the tunnel. I remember the midwife asking me questions but being too out of it to really know anything other than here comes another contraction.

She got us in our room, and Mum got our bags in from the car for us and parked the car before leaving. Mum talked endlessly about the birth center and how nice it was. Compared to the hospital the lights in the room are dimmer, and the midwives don't have uniforms. The rooms are big with double beds and lounges and chairs. There isn't any medical equipment around.

I, of cause, noticed none of this and was focused only on that big birthing bath. I was so eager to jump in that bath. I walked in the room and ripped off my dress. Funny thing is this is the exact scene from my first pregnancy too. It was even the same red dress that I grudgingly wore to the hospital, trudged in bare footed and took it off as soon as I could. Wearing clothes in these stages of labor just feels so foreign.

The midwife wanted to give me an internal examination to find out how dilated I was, and check the baby's heart rate before I jumped in the bath. We waited for a break in my contractions and she told me I was 7 centimeters dilated, baby's head had come down and heart rate was all good. I jumped in the bath and it was like heaven. I can't tell you how much of a pain relief this was. Contractions still felt so strong but I felt so much more relaxed in the bath.

This is when I got a bit sneaky: I discovered how good it felt to push a little in my contractions. Not a lot, just a little. I did that and accidentally did a little poo. Whoops! We scooped it out of the water, no harm there. I didn't think I was pushing the baby out, because I didn't have an overwhelming need to push that most women describe in their birth stories. It just gave me somewhere to focus on in my contractions and helped with the pain.

Then the next contraction came and I very sneakily and secretly had another little push. This time I felt a pop. I told Heya, who told the midwife. The midwife came in and said that it was my water breaking.

She asked if we would mind if a student midwife came in to watch the birth. I said I didn't mind and our midwife said she would go get her and introduce us to her. She came back with the student midwife. Before she could introduce her I said, "The baby is coming." The baby was moving, and fast.

In seconds I gave what I thought was such a little push. I was shocked by this instantaneous sting. I felt between my legs and felt the baby's head. I really didn't want any tears and I knew this was happening very fast, which can cause tears, so I started to pant and didn't push. I remembered this from reading other birthing stories.

I remember looking at the midwife, and she encouraged me by saying, "Nice and slow." I gave a very slow push and the baby came out, into my hands. I picked her up out of the bath and held her to my chest. The midwife began to rub the baby's chest, and she started to turn from blue to red, as she started to take her first breathes of air. How awesome! Barley was born at 9:50 p.m., about half an hour after getting to the birth center.

The bath had turned red with blood so the midwife got me to stand up, and I was losing a fair bit of blood. She told me she was concerned about blood loss and asked if she could give me a shot of syntocin, and I said yep, sure. The syntocin helps the placenta come away quicker and also minimizes blood loss. We had discussed this previously and I said I didn't want the shot, unless I was losing a lot of blood, and she thought I should have it.

I then lay on the bed and they put warm blankets over me and the bub. The midwife checked me out, and confirmed there was no tearing, a bit of a graze but no damage to the perineum. I snuggled my baby and kept offering her my breast, because I know this helps stop the bleeding, but Baby wasn't interested.

Then the midwife asked what's the sex and I realized I hadn't checked. Well, I had but the cord was still attached and going between her legs and I hadn't looked underneath it yet, but now I looked behind the cord and was deliriously happy when I saw it was a girl. "It's a baby girl," I said. Then I'm sure this would have confused the midwife greatly when I then turned to her and said, "Isn't it?" I just couldn't believe I had actually had a girl. I wanted a girl so much.

We waited until the cord stopped throbbing before Heya cut the cord. Then somewhere there I delivered the placenta. They asked us if we wanted to keep it. We said why not, but not sure what we are going to do with it yet. It's still frozen in our freezer. We might bury it and plant a tree on it or something on her birthday if we don't accidentally eat it before then.

Then I looked over and saw Heya sitting on the lounge patently waiting for his turn to cuddle his new daughter. So I asked if he wanted a cuddle, and he came rushing over. It was like asking a dog if they want to go for a walk (like, der, do you need to ask?).

I had a shower and ate some food. The midwives checked the baby out, made sure she was as perfect as she looked, which of course she was. There was another couple coming in and they asked if we wanted to stay we could go to another room or we get discharged, and we said we wouldn't mind going home. So the midwife filled in the paperwork while we waited in the waiting room and I breastfed. I remember when the other couple came in and the woman seemed so relaxed compared to me when I came in with my mind-blowing contractions. Then we left the hospital about midnight and drove home with our new baby.

We named her Coriander Jatz. Just kidding. We're not that slack. We named her Barley Hazel.

It's funny how different labor is from what is portrayed on TV and movies. Women losing the plot and being resentful at their partner, where in actual labor you have so much oxtoxcin, "the love hormone" running through you, that I felt quite close and very much aware of the love I had for my partner, Heya. And the birth is a very intimate space. Some women even experience labor as being orgasmic. I can say while I felt in love, my orgasm feels wonderful, nothing like the intense pain of a contraction.