My due date was February 24, but I was hoping to deliver sooner because I had gained almost 50 pounds and this baby seemed to be pretty big! An ultrasound at 38 weeks showed the baby to be 8 pounds, 6 ounces.

My doctor's appointment on the 21st was quite disappointing because I was still only 1 centimeter dilated and the doctor was starting to push for an induction, which I really did not want.

I had been having Braxton-Hicks for several months, which would get more intense and regular in the evenings, but never painful at all. Although my feet were swollen and my back was hurting, I was walking every day to try and get things started, but my due date came and went with no baby!

That night I felt pretty tired and irritable, so I went to bed early. I woke up around 7 a.m., feeling rested. My husband and son were still sleeping, so I got up to let the dog out. As I was walking back into the house, a stream of warm water started pouring down my legs! At first I actually thought I was peeing on myself and felt incredibly embarrassed, even though no one was around. But I quickly realized that this was my water breaking. I never felt a "pop" like I did with my older son, but there was no doubt about it. What a strange sensation!

I felt such excitement that my labor had finally started, I could not stop smiling! I went upstairs to change my clothes. My husband was waking up and I told him, "I think something's happened; I'm soaked!" He smiled and got up to make coffee. After my son got up, I told him my water had broken and that we would be having the baby today or tomorrow; he was so excited!

I also called my mom, so that she could come and get my son. She came around noon and stayed for a couple of hours before taking my son and the dog home with her.

In the mean time, my husband and I decided not to call the doctor right away, as I was still having irregular, painless contractions. I knew that if we went to the hospital, they would want to start Pitocin. Our plan was to labor at home as long as possible. My husband spent the day working around the house, and then finished up some paperwork. I think he was nervous and needed to stay busy. I took a shower, gathered everything together for the hospital and ate a light lunch. Basically, I tried not to walk around too much because my water was leaking out all day long; it was really pretty annoying because I kept soaking my pants!

Finally, around 5 p.m., we decided to call the doctor. The contractions were still irregular, but some were closer together, about five minutes apart. They were still painless, but were getting a little stronger. The doctor was clearly annoyed that we had waited so long to call and instructed us to go to the hospital immediately. We packed up the car and headed out. I was excited that I would soon see our baby, but I was also nervous. I was afraid of the pain I would soon experience, but I knew that my husband and I were prepared for whatever came.

We arrived at the hospital around 6:30 p.m., and we were greeted by friendly nurses who showed us to our room. I changed into a gown, filled out some paperwork and then they hooked me up to the monitor. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law arrived and we all just sat around talking.

Around 7:30 p.m., the nurse informed me that my doctor wanted to start Pitocin, but I wanted to wait a little while because I could tell that the contractions were getting stronger. We waited an hour and I asked the nurse to check me to see how dilated I was before we started Pitocin. She told me that my doctor said I couldn't be checked because my water had broken and I was at risk for infection.

My husband and I insisted that I be checked, and I am so glad that we did because, sure enough, I was 3 centimeters dilated! I was so relieved that I did not get that Pitocin; my body was doing everything just right!

The nurse also told me that I was not allowed to get out of bed because walking increased the risk of infection. I was totally aggravated about this, but I obeyed the rules and stayed in bed. That was silly; I should have done whatever I wanted.

Over the next three hours the contractions got progressively stronger and I began to really feel pain. I was breathing through them, taking one at a time, and feeling pretty confident. For a while. Around 11 p.m. the contractions were coming so fast, every two to three minutes, that I was having trouble staying ahead of them. The pain was becoming unbearable. I was starting to doubt my ability to handle this. My mood quickly soured and I wanted everyone else to leave. I wanted to be alone so that I could focus on my breathing and relaxing. My husband knew what I needed and sent them out.

My husband and I had talked about how we would labor, and I am so glad that we had a plan because it became hard for me to express myself. He was perfectly there for me; he played my Enya CD, gave me ice chips, held my hand and began breathing with me.

The yoga took me pretty far, but eventually it was as if the pain just swallowed me up during the contractions and I could not think at all. I kept trying to focus and breathe and relax, but it became impossible. I tried changing positions, but moving hurt so much! I lost control and surrendered to the pain. I remember feeling surprised and embarrassed because I was yelling pretty loudly! I wanted to be in control but I wasn't and that scared me!

I lost track of time but, finally, the nurse came and checked me and said I was 6 centimeters. Only 6 centimeters – I felt so disappointed! I felt like giving up. I told my husband I couldn't do it. I was in so much pain at that point that I wasn't thinking clearly, and it never even occurred to me to ask for pain relief. I actually just wanted to give up and go home!

At this point, the contractions began to change. They would begin the same, a wave of sharp pain rising up through me, taking over. But in the middle of the pain, my lower body began to bear down involuntarily. I did not recognize this as the urge to push because it wasn't exactly an urge; my body was just doing it on its own and I had no control over it.

Paul recognized what was happening because I was grunting and he told the nurse. She told me not to push yet, just blow through it. She kept saying, "Blow out the candles!" I wanted to tell her where to stick her candles. I was blowing but my body was still pushing with some of the contractions.

I have heard that some women lose all modesty during labor, but even in my worst pain, I still felt very modest. Some poo came out with that damn involuntary pushing. My absolute worst fear! I was so embarrassed, I sent my husband out of the room. The nurse cleaned it up, but I knew that there was more and I told her I needed to go to the restroom. She said, "You can try, but you really don't want to have this baby in the toilet, do you?" That was the first time I realized that this was going to be over soon!

The nurse kept checking me; it seemed like every five minutes, because it hurt so much when she touched me. Every time she checked, I was more dilated. It seemed like things were moving more quickly now, and yet every contraction seemed like an eternity in itself.

Between contractions, I would zone out and actually doze off a little. When the pain began to rise again, I would just say, "No, no, no, I can't, please, I can't!" My husband would say, "You can. You are doing it. It's almost over. We are going to have our baby soon! Just breathe, just breathe!" Everything he did was really perfect, exactly what I needed to hear.

I began to feel like I was going to throw up. I remember thinking, "Oh great, I'm going to shit on myself and puke on myself!" I never threw up but waves of nausea would come over me with the contractions. I felt very primal, like some kind of animal. I asked, "Is this transition?," and the nurse told me it was.

The nurse was bringing all kinds of equipment into the room and my husband kept telling me to look but I couldn't. He wanted me to see that they were getting ready for the delivery and that the end was near but I just could not think straight. I looked up at one point and saw someone in a surgical gown and mask and asked, "Are you the doctor?" She said no, she was the doctor's assistant or something. When I looked up again, the doctor was there and they were putting my legs into stirrups. I thought, "This is it! I'm going to have this baby now!"

I asked if I could push now and the doctor said whenever I was ready I could. Boy, was I ready! I have always felt that I failed with my first son because I was unable to push him out, so I was very determined to push effectively with this baby, although I had no idea what that meant. I let my body tell me what to do. It's hard to explain, but I felt the pushing that my body was doing on its own and then I doubled and tripled it! I pushed into the pain and it was actually a huge relief. I can't say that it felt good, but it felt right.

I think that it was about 2 a.m. when I began pushing and that I pushed four or five times total. Although it was very painful and scary, this part was so much better because I was actually doing something instead of just lying there suffering. It seemed like I went into my own world. I hardly noticed my husband at all.

The doctor told me not to arch my back and to keep my chin down when I pushed, and I did what she said. She also asked if I would like to see my baby being born, and we said yes, so someone brought in a mirror. I am so glad because this helped me to focus my pushing even better. Although it was so freaky to see my body changing and stretching!

I closed my eyes while I pushed, but when I opened them, I could see my baby's head! The doctor was stretching me with her hands; it hurt so badly! After his head was born, I thought the pain would be less, but it seemed that his shoulders hurt even more! I remember saying, "It hurts! Get it out!" I was not looking as his body was born, but I felt him slip out of me; that is the weirdest feeling. Then the doctor was holding him face down and suctioning his mouth. I was waiting for the doctor to say boy or girl, but when she didn't I looked between his legs and said, "It's a boy!"

He was born at 2:19 a.m. They placed my baby on my chest, all slippery and bloody, and he was crying so loud. I was all smiles! I actually apologized to everyone for all of my yelling! The nurse asked us his name and we said "Silas." The pain was gone and I was so relieved to finally see him.

I held him for a moment and my husband cut the cord. Then they cleaned him up and weighed him. Nine pounds even, and I was not surprised at all. The doctor told me to give a push to birth the placenta, and that hurt quite a bit. She then stitched me up because I had torn. More pain, but I just didn't care because I was so full of joy! They cleaned up my bed and helped me to the bathroom. My husband held Si while I was in the bathroom and he cried and cried so loud.

The nurse told me that he had some fluid in his chest, so we should wait about 20 minutes before trying to nurse him. I was so nervous when I first nursed him, but after a couple of minutes, he latched on and nursed for about 40 minutes! That was the only time that he stopped crying until we dropped him off at the nursery.

My husband and I had a snack and slept for a couple of hours until they brought him back to me. The next day, I was sore and tired but felt surprisingly good. Silas had a hematoma on his head (that took about three months to go down), but was otherwise perfect and we went home the next day!

During my pregnancy, I read and studied everything that I could find on natural childbirth, practiced Lamaze and yoga, and although I felt prepared, I was never completely sure that I could handle the pain. Now I know that I can, and I will definitely do it again.

I do not know if I have a low tolerance for pain, but I have heard women say that it's not that bad, and I just do not agree. Honestly, the pain is indescribable. But it's worth it. With my first son, I had the epidural and I felt like a bystander at his birth. He was pulled from me; I did not birth him. With Silas, I feel so very empowered by the experience. While I had promised myself I would remain very calm and quiet for his birth and I ended up screaming and yelling, that's OK, I am still proud of myself!