Japan to America Right on Time

By Joy Lee

My husband and I had been married for five years and were teaching in Japan when we decided it was time to start a family. Within six weeks we were expecting.

The pregnancy itself was easy – no swelling or morning sickness or anything – but being in Japan was interesting. My doctor didn't speak English, and I don't speak Japanese. He gave me ultrasounds every three weeks. He thought I was too fat because he wanted me to gain only 7 kilos (15 pounds), and I gained 25 pounds by the end.

Phone calls were expensive, and so was the Internet (which was a little different back in 1999), so I read What to Expect When You're Expecting from cover to cover and got most of my information from that. I wish I had known I could have taken acetaminophen for all those hormonal headaches during the first trimester!

I continued teaching and activity as normal, much to the surprise of the Japanese I worked with. They gave me a seemingly endless list of things I shouldn't be doing – riding a bus, vacuuming, etc. They decided that I shouldn't be as active as I was, and certainly wouldn't be able to do so much after the baby was born, so they sent us back to the USA when I was 6 months pregnant. At our sayonara party, they said I scared them to death, but that was just the American way.

The plane trip and layovers, combined with crossing the international date line, resulted in a terribly long day. The jet lag and the sudden, rather drastic, change in diet caused me to experience the worst couple weeks of the whole pregnancy. People kept telling me that it would just get worse, but it didn't. I got a job as a teacher's aide and worked up until my due date.

We were living with my parents at the time while my husband was still looking for permanent employment. The insurance I had while in Japan continued to cover the pregnancy, but only the pregnancy, and nothing postpartum, so I chose a midwife who ran a birth center so I could go home the same day. The difference between male doctor in Japan and female midwife in the USA was incredible. I liked my midwife.

The day before my due date, I had diarrhea, but didn't think anything about it. About 4 in the morning on my due date, I went to the bathroom and there was blood. I started feeling funny in my abdomen. By 7 a.m. I knew I was having contractions, but they were mild. I was excited. My parents could not believe I was in labor on my due date.

The contractions steadily increased in intensity and frequency, and I took several baths. By lunchtime I couldn't eat, and by 2 p.m. they were one minute long and two minutes apart. I demanded to know how much closer they could get, and my husband drove me to the birth center.

The midwife was surprised that I was 7 centimeters dilated. I took another bath, and then knelt at a glider, leaned on it and rocked.

By 7 p.m. my contractions were slowing, and the midwife was concerned because I was tiring quickly. She checked me and was surprised again. I was fully dilated, but my water didn't break and I didn't feel the need to push. She told me I could push, and I pushed for 30 minutes. I had carried my baby so low my cervix was swollen and bruised, and the midwife had to reach inside and try to push the swollen part aside.

Once my baby's head got out the rest of his body slipped right out and I was so happy I didn't even notice the pain anymore. He was 6 pounds, 15 ounces.

I tore both my cervix and perineum, but they weren't bad tears. The midwife gave me a few stitches. I nursed the baby and ate the food my mom fixed for me. My sister (who arrived as the baby crowned) helped me shower again. She dressed my son. (Despite all those ultrasounds we didn't know his gender until he was born. The doctor wouldn't tell me.) I tried to put my now-too-big pants back on and we headed home two hours after our son was born. Both grandmothers and my sister had been there to witness the birth.

I have chosen midwives and free-standing birth centers ever since. I am now pregnant with my fourth (and last) child and plan to deliver at a birth center three hours away. I guess it's good I don't get the urge to push! Since my first I always ask the midwife to check me frequently and tell me when to push, and they have always broken my water. If all goes well, I will deliver four babies at four birth centers in four different states.