I had a fantastic pregnancy, no morning sickness, no illness, no tiredness. I felt completely normal. The below details my birth, the best way to sort things out in my own head.

There I was on Sunday afternoon going about my normal business. I felt a bit weird and sort of uncomfortable the whole day. At about 3 p.m. I started experiencing dull pack pain. I shrugged it off as being on my feet too long and carried on as per normal.

7 p.m.: I was still having back pain, getting a little worse. I had a bath and got into bed.

8-9 p.m.: My back pain was getting worse. I was two minded about calling Dr. M, after all it was Sunday night and maybe I was just being paranoid?

9-11 p.m.: My back pain was excruciating, and nothing was helping. (Braxton Hicks?) I went off to the loo to wee and noticed a dark brown discharge. WARNING SIGNALS FLASHING RED!

11-11:30: My fiancé called Dr. M, who advised me to go to the hospital immediately and see one of the ward sisters. I was furiously packing a bag (not thinking I'd need anything, after all, I'd be home in the morning). I decided to throw our goodies into a bag and go, go, go! I arrived at the hospital and was strapped to a weird contraction monitor. The pain was intensifying, and felt like I needed to go No. 2. There was bright red discharge. The nurse gave me four little blue tablets to stop the pain and a steroid injection to mature the baby's lungs. More weirdness!

11:30-12: The nurse checked my cervix. I was dilated 8 centimeters already! There was no turning back now. Dr. M was summoned to come through as quick as he could. It was off to the labor ward with me. My head was reeling; panic and fear set in. My tears were flowing. I was so afraid and so very unprepared. This was not happening, I told myself....

12-1:42: I was being wheeled down to the Kraamkamer (Afrikaans for labor ward), nervously gripping my hon bun's hand as he tried his best to comfort and reassure me. I was scared to death and every inch closer we got to the room my panic increased. My baby was only 32 weeks old and shouldn't come out now. "Not now, oh God, not like this, oh God please don't do this to me, I'm not ready," I thought.

In a whiz Dr. M was there in a tatty old tracksuit. Shame, this poor guy, he was peacefully enjoying his Sunday evening, but thanks to me, that was cut horribly short. I breathed a sigh of relief. He cracked a joke, but the contraction distorted my normal mental thinking and I let out an odd laugh. I thought, "My doc's here. He's going to sort this out and send me home." Not. I was 10 centimeters dilated.

My head was reeling; the pain was so intense I grabbed and pulled at anything I could get my hands on. In the corner of my eye I spotted my man, my rock, my strength, standing there watching all of this. Bewildered. I couldn't have done this without him. Jeez, I love this guy with every cell in my body...

The pain ceased and I grabbed my mobile phone and called my mom and my best friend. "Guys, I'm currently in labor; my baby is coming out. Now!"

PAIN! Needles stabbed my most sensitive areas and then a huge gush of water started flowing out. What the hell was happening? "This is ludicrous," I thought. "I'm dreaming, definitely dreaming." "Breathe, Mommy, breathe. Breathe normally," I heard from a distant voice in the background.

I was feeling like I needed to do No 2. No, don't push, I though. But I couldn't help it. This was crazy. Push!

Something came popping out and I screamed from the intense pain and shock. This was not my voice. It sounded animal like, inhuman... This was a bad dream, a very, very bad dream. Push! I scrounged up everything I had and went. Pop! I saw a little long body in front of my face wrapped in a green sheet. I wept uncontrollably. I had no control over my body at the moment and I was shivering and was in complete shock!

Hon bun was busy sawing through a thick blue cable....gross... The doctor was prodding my abdomen and a gooey blob popped out. It was all over. I had no pain, nothing. My baby was here and it was all over.

He was off to the NICU and I was wheeled off to recovery. It was the weirdest, scariest, most wonderful moment of my life. The end.