I'm sharing our experience in hopes of helping someone who is going through the same loss as us, as I know how hard this is. And for me it definitely helped me hearing other similar stories.

This was my first pregnancy and we were very excited. At 12 weeks, the doctor gave us the option of going for an ultrasound where they can detect any abnormalities in the baby such as Downs, Spina Bifida, etc. My husband and I decided to take the test.

We went for the ultrasound and were amazed and extremely excited when we saw our dear baby on the screen. The doctor showed us all the baby's organs and everything seemed fine to us. After a while, the doctor excused herself out of the room and when she came back, we heard devastating news. She was seeing abnormalities in the baby's head and spine. She then made us an appointment with another specialist for a second opinion.

A week later, we met the specialist who did another ultrasound and gave us more devastating news. The baby's head and spine had significantly gotten worse than last ultrasound and he was now seeing fluid in the baby's chest area. He said there was a 90 percent chance our baby wouldn't make it to his 22nd week.

He then suggested we have an amniocentesis so we could determine if the baby had Turner syndrome, which is what he thought it was, or any other chromosomes abnormalities.

A week later, we had the amnio done and met with our doctor to go over our options: We could either wait for the miscarriage to happen naturally, which could take a few more weeks or months, or we could terminate the pregnancy.

After weeks of this emotional roller coaster for us, we didn't feel we could wait much longer and keep having our dreams crushed. The doctors reassured us that there was no future for this baby and we would only be putting the baby and myself through danger if we waited it out.

On November 18, 2004, at 17 weeks, I was admitted in the hospital. They induced me using two little tablets, which were inserted under my cervix every four hours. I had little cramps throughout the day and this lasted almost 24 hours.

Finally in the middle of the night, my water broke and cramps got much worse. They set me up on the IV and gave me medication for the pain. I pushed for about an hour before our precious baby came out. I was so drained physically and emotionally.

The doctor told me that the placenta had not come out so they told me I had to push to get this out. The whole procedure lasted for about five hours before everything was out and done.

When the nurse asked me if we wanted to see our baby, I didn't know what I was about to see as they had told us over and over that our baby had many abnormalities, so I was prepared for the worst. But when the nurse held up our baby in the palm of her hand, it was overwhelming. He looked so perfect and peaceful. Because I was too early in pregnancy, they couldn't tell us the sex of the baby, but in our eyes, he was the most perfect little angel we had ever seen.

The following day, I went home from the hospital numb to this whole situation. Sometimes I forget that our little angel is no longer inside of me. I have been home from the hospital now for almost four weeks and I do have good days, but I still definitely have bad days.

There's not one day I don't think of the baby we have lost. Every day, I am faced with pregnant women, newborn babies or people asking me when I'm due and I find this so hard, but it's through other people's support and encouragement that we live each day.

This week, we got the amnio results, which showed that the baby did in fact have Turner syndrome and the doctor said it never would've made it through the pregnancy. They also determined our precious baby was a little girl.

It was very hard to hear, but in a way it was a relief to know that we had made the right decision and to be able to put a name to our dear baby was a little closure for us.

If anybody has gone through a similar experience, I would love to hear from you. I find that talking about it with other people helps deal with it and to know that you are not alone.

If you need to talk, feel free to reach me by e-mail.