I am publishing this story on the Web in an attempt to disseminate information about the downside of a VBAC. I had two previous Cesarean Sections because of failure to progress and an attempted VBAC with my third baby. It ended up being the most traumatic experience of my life and my husband's. When the doctor told us the chance of a rupture was less than one percent, I didn't realize that I would end up being in that small percentage, which isn't really so small when you think about it. One in 100 is a very great risk, especially when the risk we are talking about is your and your baby's life. That's the part I didn't realize.

We had a wonderful doctor who respected our wishes to attempt a VBAC with this third baby. He wanted to schedule a C-section, but went along with our wishes for the VBAC attempt and believed things would go okay. He also suggested inducing labor two weeks early so the baby would be smaller and chances for a successful delivery would be greater, but nope, we wouldn't listen to him. I felt the baby would be born when it was ready.

Ten days past my due date we agreed to an induction with Pitocin. I was on Pitocin for 13 hours and absolutely nothing happened. The baby didn't even begin to come down, and there was 0 dilation . The doctor said we could go ahead and take her by C-section or come back in two days and try again, placing Prepodil on the cervix on the day in between. Of course we were against the C-section, so we went home and I returned to the hospital the next afternoon where the doctor met me and inserted the gel.

Wow! That really started things in motion. I was having major contractions every minute! I could barely make the call to my husband to get to the hospital! I requested an epidural after about two hours. I just couldn't take it anymore; it was incredibly intense. My water broke, and five hours later, I went from 0 dilation to 10 (between checks!). We were so thrilled! I had never done this with my other two labors.

I pushed and pushed for two and a half hours. At two hours, the doctor said he would give me another 30 minutes and if the baby didn't come out that he would do a C-section. I was ready to push all night. They could see the baby's head, and she was coming down very slowly. By the way, the doctor stayed nearby the entire time. It was 1 in the morning at this point. I know he didn't have to do that.

Then things went terribly wrong. I felt an intense pain on the upper left side of my abdomen as if someone had stabbed me and was twisting the knife. I told the nurse and she wasn't sure what was wrong. I said Something is NOT right. Please get the doctor NOW. Thank goodness she listened to me. The doctor was by my side within a few minutes. I told him what I was feeling. He carefully explained that we needed to go ahead and do a C-section. And I said, OKAY LET'S GO NOW! I knew something was wrong and they couldn't move fast enough in my opinion.

Things get fuzzy for me after that. I remember the pain was so excruciating. Remember I had an epidural going and it was doing nothing to obscure this intense pain. I remember throwing up on the way into the operating room and barely being able to move my legs down. It was so painful and I've had two kidney stones! My abdomen had become hard as a rock, and my husband says you could clearly see the baby's shape in my abdomen. We believe it was about 20 minutes from the time I felt the rupture until they got her out.

I remember feeling them pulling the baby out and it seemed like forever before I heard her cry. My husband says that they were trying to resuscitate her for about 10 minutes. He says she came out gray and lifeless and stayed gray for a long time. A team of people was working to get her to breathe. He has seen our other two babies come out and they did not look like this. Finally, I heard her cry. They brought her to me for a moment and then whisked her off to the NICU (I didn't know anything was wrong at that point).

In recovery, I find out that I had a hysterectomy and that the baby was in intensive care. My uterus had literally blown up on the left side and it destroyed one ovary and ripped down into the vagina. It was completely devastating. My husband was a basket case. They basically told us that the baby was hanging on for dear life. When the uterus ruptured, her oxygen was cut off and she aspirated on some fluids and apparently some of her organs had begun to shut down.

I was in horrible shape, but I refused to believe it was possible for us to lose her. Finally, I made it to the NICU the next evening and there was my angel with tubes coming out of her everywhere. It broke my heart. Finally, after about four days, she came off the respirator and I got to see her face. She was beautiful. Her first feeding was with my milk through a tube that went through her nose and down into her stomach. The people in the NICU are amazing. Soon after that, I was able to hold her and nurse her in the NICU. It was so hard going home after the fifth day without her. Finally, after 10 long days, we were able to take her home.

She is 9 months old today. She seems perfectly healthy and has not been sick for one single day, not even a stuffy nose. We are truly blessed. I think she is a miracle and she must have a very strong soul.

We still have not gotten over the trauma of it all. I belong to a support group for women who have had uterine rupture. Most of them have lost their angels because of the rupture. It seems that the medical community doesn't recognize a rupture when it happens. Our baby's heart rate remained normal throughout. She did not appear to be in distress. My doctor did not even know I had ruptured until he opened me up. Thank God I knew something was wrong and that my doctor listened to me. I've heard too many stories where nobody would listen to the woman. They think they are just having a contraction and can't take the pain.

So please, please, please be aware of the extreme risk of VBAC. Your life and your baby's life hang in the balance. It is not worth the risk. If I knew then what I know now, I would have scheduled a C-section. I did not know that a rupture meant the likelihood that the baby would die. Please understand that before you attempt a VBAC.